Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
