i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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