This is not my ceiling
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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