I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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