i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
