I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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