Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
