Do you still have your period?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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