i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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