A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
