I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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