You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
home. puking in laundry basket.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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