she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
