if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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