How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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