He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
