I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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