P.S. I can't hear my feet
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
