I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
