what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize