Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
