Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
