So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He kissed a someone with a penis
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
