Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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