The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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