Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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