I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
