I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
