so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize