Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
