I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Randomize
