Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize