my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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