it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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