We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
