my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
honey bunches of taint.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize