Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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