I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
