He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
