they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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