The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
