ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
