she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
