I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
