i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
