I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
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