There was a lot of him and a little penis
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
