there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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