I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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