Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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