oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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