"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
you never un-have a 4some
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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