she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
