how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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