My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize