Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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