So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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