Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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