we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I just want nice things and good sex
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
