my soul wont recognize me after tonight
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
