Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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