Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
FUCK WHALES
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
